I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
