Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
