if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
