I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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