Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
