Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize