I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
