If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
