no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
