we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
