i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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