just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
