Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
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My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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