there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
