He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
