He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
