It's a beautiful day for a hangover
either way he was missing a nipple.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
