You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
