have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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