don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize