i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
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I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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