Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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