im drinking this country out of the recession.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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