nutella sex= disaster
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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