once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
