Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
