Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
