Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
