I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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