I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
