There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
