Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
