we made out on top of his cat.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
