let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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