there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
