im drinking this country out of the recession.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
