So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
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You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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