so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
