She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
