i don't like sucking hair
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize
