He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
