nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
