I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
