he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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