good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
