I never want to see another naked old woman again.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We need to get me chipped asap
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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