I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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