I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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