when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
