I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
