I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
