I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
