He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is very pro this idea
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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