Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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