i think i have two assholes
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
